1. Nobody speaks English.
2. Sometimes you don't get water and when you do it's brown?
3. It's 120 degrees!
4. It never rains.
5. When you see rain clouds in the sky it's really just pollution.
6. The crunchy thing in your sushi roll isn't a vegetable, it's a cockroach.
7. There are 100 flights a day leaving, but only one flying in.
8. You look like you have a great tan, but really it's just a layer of dirt from the sand storms.
9. You have three deadbolts on your door, but you can still break in.
10. You think there is an earthquake, but really it's just the neighbors stereo.
11. Nobody throws garbage in a trash can.
12. People keep asking you why on earth you moved there.
13. When driving down the freeway you see billboards that say "Make sure your child is really yours, get a DNA test."
14. Rexburg, Idaho is starting to look like Maui.
